Poindron's Weird Questionnaire

I came across this Weird questionnaire just now and I thought it might be fun to answer these.

1 – Write the first sentence of a novel, short story, or book of the weird yet to be written.
The Qeral slowly slid into the depths.

2 – Without looking at your watch: what time is it?
19:45

3 – Look at your watch. What time is it?
21:01

4 – How do you explain this — or these — discrepancy(ies) in time?
Holy shit I’ve pissed away three hours on the internet again!

5 – Do you believe in meteorological predictions?
Based on sound climatological models, yes. And even then I’m more skeptical the longer away they reach and especially so during spring and fall when the weather is always unpredictable

6 – Do you believe in astrological predictions?
Hell to the no. I have a lifetime of anecdotal evidence on how wrong they are and more to the point there has yet to be an astrologist to claim the JREF prize, which is a quite sizeable sum of money.

7 – Do you gaze at the sky and stars by night?
Yes. In the winter during the day too.

8 – What do you think of the sky and stars by night?
Cold, horror, space travel, Adventure, flight, wind, winter, dragons, space, life, everyone I’ve ever known and many people I will never know see the same stars and the same sky. People before me and people who come after me see the same stars and the same sky and we are all connected. And we’re all “on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam”.

9 – What were you looking at before starting this questionnaire?
Reading through my rss feed, namely Jeff Van der Meer’s blog.

10 – What do cathedrals, churches, mosques, shrines, synagogues, and other religious monuments inspire in you?
Awe at human accomplishments and architecture.

11 – What would you have “seen” if you’d been blind?
I have no idea. Darkness is the first, glib, answer that comes to mind, but I would think that’s not actually true. Mental note; must find out what the blind see.

12 – What would you want to see if you were blind?
Dogs running around in new snow, colours in every hue imaginable.

13 – Are you afraid?
Yes.

14 – What of?
Many things. Loss of loved ones being chief among them.

15 – What is the last weird film you’ve seen?
In Time. Although it’s not in the genre I think it’s weird in the negative sense because they’ve tried to stick at least three different and potentially great movies into one, ending up with one less than mediocre one.

16 – Whom are you afraid of?
Pretty much any fundamentalist religionist. Anyone who’s willing to do violence in the name of something they can never know the truth of.

17 – Have you ever been lost?
Have I ever. 😀 Once, when I was a kid we went to visit someone somewhere far away. There was a girl there who was a little older than I was and we decided to go visit a stable she knew that turned out to be very far away. I had no idea where I was, my mother had no idea where I was and the girl wanted to hitchhike back home. Not one of my proudest moments and not one I remember fondly.

18 – Do you believe in ghosts?
No. But I LOVE ghost stories.

19 – What is a ghost?
As I understand the term, it’s a human who died but never moved on.

20 – At this very moment, what sound(s) can you here, apart from the computer?
The Geek’s Guide to the Galaxy podcast, my husband talking to the the friend he’s playing Gears of War with and rain outside the window.

21 – What is the most terrifying sound you’ve ever heard – for example, “the night was like the cry of a wolf”?
The roaring of the fire in a house I was in. I knew it was safe because it was a fire fighting excercise but holy crap was it scary.

22 – Have you done something weird today or in the last few days?
Very unlike to myself I sent out Christmas cards today. I’ve never done that before but yesterday for some reason I decided it would be fun.

23 – Have you ever been to confession?
No. I’m not religious, my parent’s haven’t been religious for most of their lives and even if I were religious I would most likely be Lutheran (my mother’s family and most finns are Lutheran) or Orthodox (my father’s family, the ones who are religious, are orthodox) neither of which have confession as part of their dogma or praxis.

24 – You’re at confession, so confess the unspeakable.
I’m pretty open about things and I don’t believe in sin so honestly the most shocking thing I would do at confession is most likely either walk out in protest or start yelling at the priest for what his church has done to humanity.

25 –Without cheating: what is a “cabinet of curiosities”?
Ann and Jeff Van der Meer published an anthology called someone’s Cabinet of Curiosities. But the concept of a cabinet of curiosities is a cabinet reserved for things that don’t really belong anywhere else or are keepsakes of something.

26 –Do you believe in redemption?
Through action, yes.

27 – Have you dreamed tonight?
Not yet. After I finish this I’m going to sleep and then I’ll most likely dream.

28 – Do you remember your dreams?
Sometimes.

29 – What was your last dream?
The last dream I remember was a disjointed series of scenes that made me happy. Nothing really happened. In one I was just laughing about something with my sister, another had me, my husband and Hippo (our late dog) walking around on a beautiful winter day.

30 – What does fog make you think of?
Narnia, The Forsyte Saga, the time I was nearly run over by a grey car that was dricing around without lights, escape, adventure.

31 – Do you believe in animals that don’t exist?
I believe in the Dodo, velociraptor and other animals that can be proven to have existed. I don’t believe in cryptozoology.

32 – What do you see on the walls of the room where you are?
Wallpaper, bookcases, my writing mission statement.

33 – If you became a magician, what would be the first thing you’d do?
That depends on whether or not the magic was real and what its limitations would be.

34 – What is a madman?
Someone who thinks that human life does not matter.

35 – Are you mad?
Sometimes. Not right now.

36 – Do you believe in the existence of secret societies?
Yes. There is more than sufficient evidence that they exist. I don’t believe they’re anything more than basically tea parties with more alcohol, though.

37 – What was the last weird book you read?
Kraken by China Mieville

38 – Would you like to live in a castle?
Not really. Much too much to clean.

39 – Have you seen something weird today?
Yes. A video of a baby octopus walking on a person’s hand.

40 – What is the weirdest film you’ve ever seen?
In the Mouth of Maddness. Or maybe The Living and the Dead. I can’t decide.

41 – Would you like to live in an abandoned train station?
That might be so cool! Depending of course on the size. If it were labyrinthine, then no. Manageable size and count me in. An extra escape route in case of the zombie apocalypse is always welcome.

42 – Can you see the future?
Hardly. I am often surprised by coffee.

43 – Have you considered living abroad?
Sometimes. Never really seriously.

44 – Where?
I think I’d like to live in Toronto if I couldn’t live in Helsinki.

45 – Why?
Toronto felt a little like home. It was a fun city with something always happening without it being hectic. And the people there didn’t seem to take themselves too seriously as people in most cities I’ve visited are wont to do.

46 – What is the weirdest film you’ve ever owned?
See above. We have a huge collection of movies and there are few movies I’ve seen that we don’t own.

47 – Would you liked to have lived in a vicarage?
Not really. I like cities where people don’t pry too much into other’s private lives and seeing as I’m atheist and tend to blaspheme quite often, they would’ve probable come a-knockin’ with torches and pitchforks before too long.

48 – What is the weirdest book you’ve ever read?
H.P. Lovecraft. Too many contenders to decide.

49 – Which do you like better, globes or hourglasses?
Hourglasses. I have no idea why. I would have thought globes but maybe they’re too unwieldy.

50 – Which do you like better, antique magnifying glasses or bladed weapons?
Bladed weapons. There was a time in my life when I studied everything I could find about the making and wielding of katanas especially and swords in general.

51 – What, in all likelihood, lies in the depths of Loch Ness?
Mud. I love the idea of Nessie and I’ve devoted hours of my life to watching the Nessie web cam but to be honest I don’t think there’s a monster there.

52 – Do you like taxidermied animals?
No. They’re way creepy.

53 – Do you like walking in the rain?
Depends on the rain. Frozen rain is horrid but summer and early autumn rain is gorgeous.

54 – What goes on in tunnels?
Loads. It depends on which tunnels this refers to. Subway tunnels are the first thing that comes to mind. I actually wrote a novel about that.

55 – What do you look at when you look away from this questionnaire?
iTunes. When I close this questionnaire, I’ll be watching my dreams.

56 – What does this famous line inspire in you: “And when he had crossed the bridge, the phantoms came to meet him.”?
It sounds like a story I might want to write. And a good ghost story a little in the vein of the Graveyard Book.

57 – Without cheating: where is that famous line from?
It makes me think of The Graveyard Book, Neverwhere and the Phantom comics but I don’t know where it’s actually from.

58 – Do you like walking in graveyards or the woods by night?
I’m not a fan of either, but I don’t have a problem with them either. For one summer and fall I worked on a graveyard as a gardener and so they don’t have quite the creepy effect on me that they do for a lot of other people. Even though I’m a city girl I don’t mind the woods that much. Although I would prefer not to do it at night simply because even we in Finland have large predators like bears and wolves and I would prefer not to end up on their menu.

58 – Write the last line of a novel, short story, or book of the weird yet to be written.
Soon all that was left of her in that place was only swirls of fog settling behind her.

59 – Without looking at your watch: what time is it?
21:30

60 – Look at your watch. What time is it?
22:10

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